Today I went to see a movie with my sisters and mom. I had a really good idea for a blog. I thought about it all afternoon, all evening and then... i logged on.
I logged on to the internet and found something that not only made me sick to my stomach but infuriated me to the point that I don't know how I'm going to sleep tonight.
So here is my question. When gearing up for a conflict what do you do? I have the tendency to stay quiet analyze the different view of the conflict and then remain calm while asking questions about the situation at hand. HOWEVER at this point in time, whether it be my mood for this week of the month, or my complete frustration with myself right now I want to wait until I meet face to face with the person I have a conflict with and yell, scream, and say hurtful mean things so that they can hurt how I hurt, so they can feel how I feel, so that they can feel worse then I feel because I know where to 'low-ball' them. I think about all the pieces that have come together for me to get to this point. I think about the paranoia to get me to this point. I think about the fact that there is a change that my accusations and fit might be merited.
But then I think about the repercussions of this route. I think about the regret I may have for saying hurtful things. I think about the consequence of saying too much and not being able to take it back.
SO, do I go back into my 'Melanie' shell and keep quiet and don't say a thing like I have in the past? Do I think things through and remain calm while explaining the way I feel and why I feel that way? Or do I finally throw the built up fit that has been boiling inside of me and scream, yell, throw things, and then deal with the consequences when the come?
I'm not sure why I'm even asking, I know what will happen. I will remain calm or pretend it's no big deal because that's what I do.
Daily Must Haves
14 hours ago
10 comments:
Before I respond to things that make me exceptionally angry - I run try to run myself thru this exercise:
1. Don't take anything personally - normally it's not about YOU it's about the person who did it or said it.
2. Don't make assumptions-it tends to make you take things personally.
3. Be impeccable with your word - you can really cause someone irreputable harm by saying something rash that is normally caused by taking things personally or making assumptions.
4. Always do your best. Your best is different on an hourly,daily,weekly basis. If it's not your best day - and you say something you regret - apologize, forgive yourself and move on.
If it's me your angry at - I love you dearly, I would never do or say anything to intentionally hurt or upset you- If I did I must not have been having my best day - please don't take it personally.
last of all--what was God thinking with all this hormone stuff? seriously?
xoxo
Oh I am so having the same problem right now! I wanted to just swear my head off at them, but I refrained from that, but I'm thinking I might go the email route to confrontation that way someone else can read it before I send and let me know if I'm being crazy. That's all I got though, I suck at this stuff.
i have always regretted the yelling route. it has always made me feel 100 times worse... i've always found it better to tell the person how they made you feel in a calm manner, that way they know and it makes them feel guilty. :0)
call me immediately.
and even if it's me... call me to chew me.
If I were a cat, I'd be dead from curiosity right now...
Usually when I do the yelling and screaming, I later regret it. I might not regret what I said, but I do regret the delivery.
There's got to be a happy medium between saying nothing and exploding. A well thought out response, calmly delivered, perhaps? But I don't like doing it via email because then it lives forever.
Well hells bells mels-- HI! If it hasn't been like 10 years since I last saw you! I think the last time we saw each other was when we went to the lake on the huge blow up tube and then went to your house after. That was a really, really long time ago! Congrats on your cute baby and getting engaged! I think you look amazing, by the way. I saw your comment on Melissa's blog. How do you know Melissa? Melissa & I are friends. Keep in touch!!!
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
I exploded at someone I love like I had never done a few years ago. I thought it would make me feel better, so I was surprised at how miserable it made me feel. I was ashamed at the hateful words I had spewed in an effort to hurt this person just as much as they had hurt me.
I don't sit silent when I'm hurt but I will never explode like that again. If I explain my feelings calmly and they're still rude I just walk away.
Oh and I totally agree with what Karlene said, sometimes things need to be said but there are more peaceable ways of delivery.
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