Public bathrooms have always cause me extreme undue stress. In previous circumstances I have always been able to hold it until I am able to go home. I'm now realizing this is no longer a possibility because I work a full time job and there's no way that I could possibly hold it for 8 hours straight especially because i'm pregnant and now pee a minimum of 20 times a day.
I noticed today that using public bathrooms has a whole set of new worries that I have never had to think about. Before I was merely concerned with germs, and what I might/or might not be catching from a public bathroom. I don't care how many people or how many times people tell me that germs can't jump and that I can't catch anything from them. i don't believe you. I never know if i'm going to be the first person to catch a new disease or bug, and personally i'm not willing to take that chance. Case and point... that poor little girl who got her feet brutally chopped off at a six flags not too long ago. I bet her parents told her time and time again that she had nothing to worry about and that the rides were tested and nothing was going to go wrong...then BAM all the sudden she's 'Sally-nub-feet.' lesson learned the hard way: don't always believe your parents :)
Anyway the point i'm trying to get to is that now i'm thrown into this full-time work situation i'm stuck using the public bathrooms. Today i've noticed a dilemma...bathroom etiquitte.
let's just play out a scenario real quick:
#1:
i'm talking with my friend (who i will not name) and we are both headed into the bathroom. No big deal right? I know that you don't talk to someone while they are on the toilet actually excreting fluids beause it's impolite, but what do you do if this friend of yours toots while you are going to the bathroom. I thought it best to try my hardest not to burst out laughing which almost made me toot.
#2:
I know i'm weird and that not everyone is as paranoid as I am but i have what I call a 'poo process.' i have to wait until the doors are locked, the shower curtain is shut and the light is off before i can do my deed. i know i'm weird. Anyway so this morning I was at work and i tried my hardest to hold it as long as i could, but i had to #2 if you know what i mean. So i walk into the bathroom and thank god there was only one person there so i politely waited until she had left to let it out. Just then three people walk into the bathroom! oh geez what do i do? apologize for my poopie or just fake like it wasn't me?
i faked like it wasn't me.
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14 hours ago
6 comments:
Oh Melanie. You'll soon learn.... it's all about the shoes. You can make as many poopie noises as you want! Just make sure that while you're letting loose, your shoes are out of sight for those sitting in the stall next to you. For instance, if the stall to your left is empty, and someone is in the stall to your right, move both feet as far to the left as possible, so the person in the stall to the right can't see.
The poopie-shoes skill comes in handy when on the other side of this situation as well. For instance, say someone in the stall to the right of you is making all sorts of poopie sounds. Simply glance down, and notice her shoes. Then later in the day, when you realize that "little miss perfect" is wearing THE SHOES and is therefore the one who was blowing out in the bathroom, you won't feel so badly about yourself, now will you?
I laughed so hard it made my stomach hurt. Except for the little girl part. Did that really happen?
yes mum it did happen! it was in kentucky too, this little girl went to six flags and a wire or something came loose and cut off her feet.
Do you remember the ride 'the hellevator'...that was the ride!
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/06/22/national/main2965711.shtml
I told your mom that family dinner at your house must be an ab workout from all the laughing. Maybe I will sneak over to the next one.
it is definitely a work out...not that i have much abs to work out anymore. but it's always a hoot.
ps kenna what do you do if you are in a stall that is next to the wall. basically you're busted right?
You just prop your feet up on the back of the stall door.
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