I was having an extremely tough day today and my Mom2 (my lingo for step-mom aka Whitney aka superwoman aka no less of my mom then my real mom aka dear friend who, as I grow older, seems to know be a lot better then i probably know myself) sent me
this little nugget of love.
*NOTE: She's offensive, crude, not for the faint of heart, at times NSFW and
speaks directly to my soul.
Back to my story... I was having an extremely hard day. You know the days where you don't smile at all because your being spiteful or you didn't get to see your kid that morning, or your several co-workers are being especially ridiculous OR dear Auntie Flow is kicking your ass? I'm sure everyone understands. So my dear mother sent me the nugget of love that brightened my day.
Rayder went to sleep about an hour ago and I snatched up the computer to read up on what my new BFF the Bloggess had to say. I found this wonderful Q&A that especially spoke to my soul because I've asked several people this question time and time again and get different answers every time.
· Dear Bloggess, What is the proper etiquette of pooping in public restrooms? Do you just let it go all willy-nilly, regardless of other people, smells, sounds, etc.? Or do you carefully time your grunts, farts and plunks to occur when someone flushes so you can disguise the fact that you're doing a number two? ~ Brittany
What exactly do you mean by “public”? Do you mean an airport bathroom filled with strangers, or the shared bathroom in your office? Because there are different rules for that shit. If it’s like an airport then your goal is to get out of there as fast as possible and screw the noises because it’s not like anyone there is taping you, probably. If it’s a public bathroom where you work and your coworkers might recognize your shoes then you should sing to yourself while you poop because that masks the noise. I suggest something by Journey because it’s impossible not to join in when someone is singing Journey and then the whole bathroom starts singing and it’s awesome and also good for work morale. Unless no one starts singing in which case you work with assholes and you shouldn't even try to protect them from poop sounds. Only the spiritually dead don’t sing along. Like, watch...“Just a small-town girl, living in a lonely woo-orld. She took the midnight train going aaaanyyywheeere.” If you weren't just compelled to sing the rest of the song out loud you need medication because you are dead inside.
Read more: http://askthebloggess.pnn.com/articles/show/49120-yes-virginia-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-bad-blow-job#ixzz0Mtiv8mQJ
I not only snorted on my couch laughing so hard I think I may have peed a little. :)
